Causes of many failed lives – Parental influence

Victor Eshameh

In a sentence or two, I will share with you what my poetic friend has to say about life. But before then, there are several causes of failed lives and these must be considered carefully. There is no order of prominence to causers of failed life but each influences life greatly.

  • Parental influence

Train a child in the way that he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This phrase is not new to any Christian mother. It is often used by parents to justify the reason they beat their children. There is this other one that says, “spare the rod and spoil the child”. Right from the very point of childbirth, everything is centered on the parents until children grow up to become adults.

It is no other person’s responsibility to see that a child treads the right path than of the parents. This is one obvious reason for parents to engage in family planning in order to prevent overpopulation within the immediate family. It’s no longer new that the average and poor in the society bear more children than the rich and influencers. Why is this, you may ask. It seems clear enough that the rich understand the risk of too many separate personalities in their empire. The poor on the other hand, sees sex as an apparatus for relieving depression and/or anxiety.

Unfortunately, none of us have ever had the opportunity to choose the home or family we would prefer to be born into. I really do not see this fact changing soon, except God is also working on a new tech that can enable that.

Many children as a result of the above stated have fallen into homes that are heading towards doom. Fortunately, we have more great men and women in our society who were either from a devastating home or they were personally nothing to write about. Without mentioning names, think of some great men you have read about. If you haven’t read or come across any, browse it over on goggle.

Types of untoward parents one can have

Regardless of societal status, many parents do not spend quality time with their children. Some children as young as five years of age are far away in boarding school. You find parents spending so much time on mobile phones, laptops and office desk, hanging out with friends than being with their children.

We find in our society parents who are so scared to say “NO” to their children. They feel saying no to the frequent demand of children would hurt the children’s feel. These parents don’t want to be perceived as bad parents by their kids so they pretend every request is okay. Sorry to intrude in your parenting skill, but I must tell you none of these is good parenting.

On the other hand, there are those parents who are very much around the house but have no positive impact in the life of their children. They speak carelessly, act and react unguarded in the presence of their children. Parents who watch censored movies and programs, disobey law and order, and do all sorts of illegal and adult action in presence of their children have failed in parenting.

There are also parents who confine their children at home, and also cage their ideas and emotions. These parents do what they feel appropriate without considering the thoughts of their children. They live by a set of principles – No Question – No Comment – Do as you were told.  

Consideration

Inasmuch as we take important marriage counselling, we should also embrace family planning for child bearing counselling. This should be compulsory. Parents should not be allowed to bear more than they can care for.

In countries where there are no government policies protecting the rights of children, NGOs should raise to the rescue of vulnerable children. Children should be educated about their right as human and also as children under the custody of their parents.

Not all parents are irresponsible, the examples discussed above those not state that all parents are in any or all of the categories. There are hardworking, relentless and dedicated parents in the world and every child should be ready and willing to get trained. I have come to understand that every parent isn’t the same. It took me several years to understand my parents; I have always perceived them as harsh and inconsiderate.

Every child is bond to make this mistake. Children often seek pleasure, peace, shelter and food; when this is not what they get unsatisfied. Sometimes, getting the best home training comes with several discomforts and unforeseen challenges. Parents should also understand that children are new to life’s challenges and should be willing to guard them through peacefully. Making yourself unapproachable doesn’t make you a better parent, it only makes you a masquerade in your home.

Every parent should make themselves available and approachable. Correct your children with a smile. If you believe in hitting your children, beat them in the appropriate places and tend to their wounds accordingly. Communicate more with your children than you shout or beat them. Let them know you are interested in their well-being than you are interested in them making you proud. Never pursue perfection as this will lead to frustration and end up making you unhappy and demoralizing the child.

Dr Miriam Stoppard acknowledges that a child starts to absorb information from the moment she is born, and it is from her parents that she gets most of this information. Parents therefore must guard their utterance and actions. There is a popular believe that children learn faster from what they see than what they hear. Of course, seeing is believing. Do the things you want your children to learn, speak the words you want them to incorporate into their mind. Never be tired of repeating yourself over and over again to ensure your children do the right thing. You might have to repeat certain correctional messages until it finally sticks.

In the next episode I will explain the next causer of many failed lives. If you enjoy this episode, subscribe to my blog for this and more motivating articles. Don’t forget to share with me your thoughts and experiences as they will help us all learn and understand better about life. 

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