Giftedminds Writers

Best Online Literary Magazine in Nigeria

If I Could Tell Her

2 min read

Dear Evan Hanseh tells a story of a high school student Connor who dies by suicide. Connor’s parents, Cynthia and Larry, find a note apparently from Connor to Evan Hansen, a senior at the same high school. And the story goes thus:

EVAN:
He said,
There’s nothing like your smile
Sort of subtle and perfect and real
He said
You never knew how wonderful
That smile could make someone feel

And he knew
Whenever you get bored
You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans
And he noticed
That you still fill out the quizzes
that they put in those teen magazines

But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
And though he wanted to
He couldn’t talk to you
He couldn’t find the way
But he would always say

If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she’s everything to me
But we’re a million worlds apart
And I don’t know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could tell her

ZOE: (spoken) Did he say anything else?

EVAN: (spoken) About you?

ZOE: Never mind, I don’t really care

EVAN: (spoken) No, no, no, he said so many things,
I’m just trying to remember the best ones.

EVAN: He thought
You looked really pretty, er-
It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair

ZOE: (spoken) He did?!

EVAN: And he wondered how you learned to dance
Like all the rest of the world isn’t there

But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid

If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she’s everything to me

EVAN & ZOE: But we’re a million worlds apart

EVAN: And I don’t know how I would even start if I could tell her

If I could tell her
But what do you do
When there’s this great divide

ZOE: He just seemed so far away

EVAN:
And what do you do
When the distance is too wide

ZOE: I think I don’t know anything

EVAN: And how do you say I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

But we’re a million worlds apart
And I don’t know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could

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